How to feng shui the couple's bedroom?

I have written many articles on the design of the bedroom in feng shui. It is a room to be favoured, whether it is a baby’s room, a teenager’s room or a room for the adults in the house. A feng shui bedroom for whom? For everyone!

As you probably know if you have read my About me, I am a former insomniac. I followed the principles of feng shui to design my bedroom: bed placement, wall colours, choice of bedspread and decorative objects… Since then, I have slept like never before.

The energy of my parental bedroom is really conducive to sleep and serenity. I didn’t have any marital problems to deal with, but it’s obvious that this design also helped me maintain a nice relationship with my husband. So whether you have any worries or not, applying the art of feng shui in this room can only bring you benefits. Follow my advice!

Feng shui principles in action

As a reminder, feng shui is an ancient art that aims to harmonise the energy of our living space. It is based on numerous observations made by the ancients, and also on the Tao philosophy. This is why we find principles such as Chi, the vital breath, the balance between yin and yang and the cycles of the 5 Chinese elements.

The harmonisation of a place always starts with the observation of the environment, first outside the house (mountain, river, building, road, neighbourhood…) then inside. This search for balance is essential and it is easy to understand that in the couple’s bedroom it is all the more fundamental: the harmony between two adults sharing a common space is also created via the quality of the Chi.

I leave it to you to reread my more detailed blog posts to fully understand these principles. I just wanted to remind you here that you must first welcome the Chi in the house, then feed it correctly in each sector, which ultimately allows you to have a quality energy in the bedroom, conducive to love, sleep and harmony.

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People and place

The art of feng shui has only one goal, which is to serve the living. What does this mean? As Chi is the breath of all life, it is the main source of all vital energy, whether it circulates around us or within us. Chi is both an abstract notion and the common denominator between the environment and man. This is why I often remind people that the feng shui expert can be considered as an acupuncturist of the place: the energy flows that surround the house and circulate in the room are the same as those that pass through the meridians in our body.

Why does this work? Because man cannot help but be in resonance with his environment. He is part of the same matrix, the same source. A place harmonised in feng shui will see its vibratory rate rise. And this high vibration will help all the people in that place to raise their own frequency as well.

Moreover, when we add the other fundamentals of feng shui such as the personal trigrams (Kua number), the school of flying stars or the school of the 8 aspirations, we can choose to connect to the energy that will be the most useful to us at a given moment. Thus, there are many ways to improve or guarantee beautiful relationships in a couple.

How to place the bed in the couple's room?

The idea is always the same, whether it’s a parent’s room or a teenager’s or baby’s room: avoid placing the bed in what is known as the French window flow. Why is this? The chi is very vibrant there, too much yang if you like. However, the bedroom is a room that must remain yin to be conducive to rest. So, we don’t put the bed facing the door. Nor do we put it under the window, or in front of it, as we often see in American films (have you noticed that in the series, there are always at least 3 windows in the rooms, which are huge, and that obviously does not make it easier to position the bed!)

For a couple’s room, it is also advisable not to place the bed against a wall: both sides of the bed must be accessible to each other. It’s always a question of balance. The yin-yang couple reminds us of the left and right positioning. Is there a feng shui way to position yourself in the bed? Yes… but there are different axes of analysis here which are to be personalised.

How should the bed be oriented?

Location and orientation are two things that should not be confused. Here, I want to talk about the energy received by the sleepers, that is to say the type of chi received by the person’s crown chakra when lying in bed. What is important for the orientation of the bed is therefore what the headboard or the wall supporting the pillows receives in the end if we do not have a real headboard.

To choose the best way to orient the bed in the couple’s room, we need to calculate each person’s Kua number. This is a personal trigram which is derived from the year of birth. It is obtained through a learned calculation but because I am lovely and I want the best for you, I have developed a Kua number calculator: you will just have to indicate your gender and your date of birth to know your Ming Gua.

This Ming Gua indicates your favourable orientations. The one that is advantageous to favour in the couple’s room is the Yan Nian orientation: it is the one that influences relationships. Of course, unless you have the same Kua number, which is quite rare, the two adults sharing the bed cannot both receive Yan Nian energy. If they are from the same group (either East or West), this energy will be favoured for one and another favourable orientation for the other, for example Fu Wei, that of harmony. If they are not from the same group, things get more complicated… and this is where the expert can come into play!

lit dans chambre grise
Photo by Kam Idris on Unsplash

What type of bed to choose for a feng shui couple's room?

I already know that I’m going to disappoint some people with the following advice… No, King Size or even Queen Size (another American thing!) are not particularly feng shui sizes… I remember a stay in a beautiful Balinese hotel with my lover: we slept in a 220cm wide bed… it was hard to find each other! I could stretch out my arm completely without touching my husband! Do you think this is conducive to lovemaking? At home, in my master bedroom, we have a 140cm wide bed (we gave our 160!) and it’s perfect!

We also avoid beds with two separate slatted bases or even two separate mattresses: yes, the mattress that you orientate as you like with your remote control… it’s not great. In concrete terms, in these cases, the two adults do not sleep on the same mattress. Symbolically, a line separates them…

Finally, no mattress directly on the floor… This does not favour a nice circulation of chi. This means that we also avoid beds with drawers… Yes, I know, I’m breaking your dreams a bit, but do you want a nice loving energy in your room or not?

How to decorate the couple's room?

In feng shui, a lot of attention is paid to symbolism. This is why we start by dealing with the energy of the bedroom, whatever the zone (according to Bagua) in which this room is located. We will see in the following paragraphs that it is still necessary, after a while, to get out one’s compass!

First of all, let’s talk about the bedside tables: I say “them” because of course you need two, one on each side, and the same one if possible. Symmetry in the bedroom is very much appreciated in feng shui, as it brings a nice balance.

All other decorative objects should be brought in pairs: in addition to the two bedside tables, two identical lamps should be put in. You can put two paintings representing couples (dancers for example), or evoking love, voluptuousness, sensuality. It is also very relevant to have photos of you and your couple, as recent as possible (they should be renewed).

As you will have understood, triptychs should be avoided (3 never works well in a duo). You should also avoid the mirror that reflects the bed… unless you want to try out love games with several people…

Finally, to fuel the fire of passion, you can add touches of “fire” either through colour (red, pink, purple) or through the material: for example, candles… in pairs! And we avoid water (no aquariums or fountains, even if the room is in the north).

The South West: the mother and love zone

In the school of the 8 aspirations, each sector of the bagua is associated with a particular area of life. Thus, the South-West is the sector that receives energies conducive to relationships, whether they be friendships, family, work or love. This is why we often see the simplification: Southwest equals Love.

Moreover, in traditional feng shui, the South-West is linked to the Kun trigram, the receptive one. It is that of the mother and the wife. Its element is the Great Earth. The associated number is 2 (the couple, the pair).

If you have problems with your relationship, it is therefore interesting to observe what is in the SW of your home: is it cluttered (garage, wardrobe, dressing room), is it stagnant (guest room, attic), does the decoration bear symbols that are not compatible with love and the couple?

To nourish this area, we use the cycle of the 5 Chinese elements: the energy of this space loves the earth, so let’s bring it yellow, orange, terra cotta… but also earthenware, porcelain, terracotta, stoneware… And as fire comes to nourish it, let’s allow ourselves touches of decoration with the colour pink or red

Intérieur beige avec plante verte
Photo by Thanos Pal on Unsplash

The North West: the father's zone

I often repeat to my clients that feng shui is a mille-feuilles (it’s probably because I’m also a food blogger!) and that the mistake beginners make is to have too much of a binary vision of this rather complex art. It is not enough to feed the SO area of the habitat to have crazy couple relationships. In a couple, there are two of us, each one must be in harmony with his inner self to love the other.

Also, it is important to make sure that the NW area of the habitat (again through the sectorisation derived from pakua) is also nourished and harmonised as required. The Northwest corresponds to the trigram Qian, the creative. Its element is the Great Metal. It corresponds to the father, the husband.

We will therefore not choose the same colours to decorate and arrange this zone as the SW: here, the earth should only be in small touches, because it will nourish the main element: metal. We will therefore choose white, grey colours, gold or silver.

The personalized areas of both members of the couple

For the orientation of the bed, I mentioned the interest of calculating your personal trigram, the Kua number. This Ming Gua indicates not only your favourable directions but also your 8 palaces, i.e. it tells you how you can exploit each zone of the house in a much more personalised way.

In the two previous paragraphs, I mentioned the SW and NW zones: these areas represent love, mother, father… for the house as a whole and therefore for all the people living under the same roof. But you can go much further.

Depending on your date of birth, the Kua number gives you your “life palace” zone, i.e. the sector to be favoured to find harmony. In the same way, the Ming Gua also gives you your Yan Nian zone, that of relationships: this is the sector to be favoured for everything linked to the connection with others. Isn’t this interesting when talking about relationships?

As you can see, feng shui is an art because you can go further and further in the analysis, adding more and more precise lines of thought. The one I practice is not Tibetan feng shui: I use the compass and the true magnetic north to sectorise the habitat. 

I just wanted to finish with a certainty: a relationship is maintained and there are many factors that will make the relationship last… But I can assure you that one of them is the quality of the chi. Follow these tips to get started… and if you think you need an extra push, contact me!

FENG SHUI chambre couple
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